New Year?

So, Im pretty sure I figured out what is going to drastically change within this year. And I am not the least bit afraid of it. I welcome it, and can only pray that it hurrys up lol Unlikely but, I dont wanna wait until the almost end of this year.

There are so many things wrong in my life right now. Hopefully I can get most of those righted before the change. Cause then, my life would be ALL KINDS of awesome :)

Psh, Ive got a lot of work ahead of me.

Then. my first and foremost decision ahead of me is where to transfer from HCC. I liked Phoenix a lot, But im concerned with doing the online thing while living in my house with my family. I cant even do my homework now with out my mother just expecting me to watch the Peach. Or rather, Its not that shes asks me to watch the Child, its more like, SHE doesnt watch the Child, so then I end up doing it so she doesnt kill herself.
So Im not sure how online schooling would work out, because I would always be here until I got a legit job. I wish I could move out. Because I had a plan. Do online schooling, get my license, get a good job. Like a secretary job or something in the Govt. That way I can work in the day and school at night, allowing me to make that money... Yea, I dont think thats going to happen. Not unless we put Makayla in a daycare, which i do not want to do, seeing as I wouldnt be working there.

Now I dont know what I am going to do.

I especially dont know what I am going to do about him. Its like, How can you love someone and seriously contemplate their death? Is it possible to feel both? The spark has definitely died. Died and frozen over. He says we can bring it back, but I really dont know if/how thats possibly.

I hate this whole crossroads shit... >_<