Am I Crazy?

I hate this song:
Im Already There (Messages From Home)- Lonestar

I hate it, I hate it , I hate it. 

I hate when it comes on the radio. 

I hate when it comes on my ipod, even though i cant delete it. 

Ive hated it for years, since Maurel died. Its always reminded me of him, its something he would say. And that alone makes me cry. But i hadnt heard this "messages from home" version. Which about killed my heart and soul. 

It just came on my pandora, I thought of Brian, and broke. Something in me broke. Especially when the one woman near the end said "hurry up and come home so we can get married" and you could hear the tears in her voice. 

I hate this song, I hate this song, i hate this song. OMG i hate this song. 

It makes me cry, every single friggin time.

I dont hate this song. I hate the memories it stirs up. And Brian being deployed is not helping this song out. 

This song is going to make me kill myself. 

One day, when my husband is deployed, I am going to hear this song, and lose my mind. 

I think, I must be crazy. For willingly entering this life.