& Just Who The Hell Are You?

Who the hell are you?
   To decide how to raise this child...
Who the hell are you?
   To tell his mother what is best...
Who the hell are you?
   to give your opinion when it wasnt asked for
Who the Hell are you?
   To tell her you wont support her decision because it is not what you said you wanted
Who the hell are you?
   To do everything in your power to spite her
Who the hell are you?

You... are nobody. You are some random person sitting in a plush office with your perfectly healthy children (if you have children) telling this mother how to help her special needs child.

And Just Who The Hell Are You?


You get up and you work your 9-5 and go home. Her day starts whenever her son decides to wake up. And it doesnt end until she finally wrestles him into the bed. During your day you sit in your office, at the back of the school and do paperwork.
During her day, she deals with force-feeding. Emotional breakdowns, violent temper tantrums, medication, and getting dressed. This is all for her oldest son. We havent even touched the other two children, let alone taking care of herself or her diabetic husband.
Dinner might be quiet at your house... it is always chaos at hers. Bed time at your house may be a bath and a kiss goodnight, maybe a story or two. Bed time at her house is a bath, yea... but the water rarely stays in the tub. It may mean pajamas... after shes dragged him from the tub to his room, kicking and screaming... It may mean brushing of the teeth, while shes fighting against him pulling her hair or trying to bite her. It may mean laying down in bed... after he's had his medication and its finally started to effect him.

She deals with these trials all day every day.

So who the hell are you to tell her how she should and shouldnt raise her son? 


I am trying very hard to write this in a... mature manor. I would really love to be all like "fuck this fuck that fuck the other" yada yada yada

But then I'd just sound like an idiot. Which I am not.
I may not be a mother of an autistic/special needs child. And no, I am not a mother at all. But i am a sister, friend, cousin, care provider.
My 11yo cousin, Ethan, is one of the most important people in my life. I grew up with him from birth, when i was 8yo. We lived under the same roof for years. I worked with him for over a year as his instructor. I have seen the good, the bad and the really super ugly. I have been kicked, punched, pinched, bitten, hair pulled, scratched, the whole 9 yards. I have had to drag his dead weight up stairs, fight him to give him a bath, brush his teeth or go to bed. I have been peed on and had to change his poopy pants. I have gone out of my way to accommodate his OCD's and obsessions. I have wrestled him to the ground in a public place because he decided that was where he wanted to have a fit. I have stared people down when they looked at him funny because of his behaviors and dared them to say something. I have bucked at people who side step him like he has the plague.
Yes, it is very challenging to care for my Ethan.

But how can you deny that face?

<3

His laugh, his smile, his random tackle-me-to-the-ground hugs, his random "I love yous", every infinitesimal improvement, every new word he learns to say, all the little things he gets so excited about. 

They make all the bad stuff, worth it. When he walks up, sits all 70-some odd pounds of himself into your lap, places his hands on both of your cheeks and smiles that wide smile because he wants to tell you something... makes even the worst day worth getting up for.

My Ethan did not ask to be this way. He only asks to be loved and taken care of. He only wants to be accepted, just like everyone else.

So it sets a fire, deep in my soul, to hear how the Anne Arundle school system is not doing anything to actively help him. In fact they are making getting him help so very difficult for his mother.

So again, the question begs...

Just who the hell are you?



It truly kills me, to see people treat kids/anyone with special needs as if they arent human. It makes me so angry. The children with Autism/special needs in my life are the most special of all the kids in my life. They always bring me so much joy to watch them beam over the smallest success. Do not be one of those ignorant people. Trust and believe, some of these kids are smarter than some of us