72 entries later

And I have gone through a metamorphosis it seems lol

Since Ive started writing, ive gone through so many mindsets. 

Well, Now, Im back on cynical. 

First off, Im probably never going to get married... until like, Im ancient. 

Cause, even though numerous people say they would love to have that life with me and would love to "wake up to my beautiful face every morning" and bla bla bla

I dont like anyone enough to feel the same way about them...

Ive noticed that Ive almost never fully reciprocated someones feelings about me. 

and then I feel bad. 

So because I feel bad that they claim to be hopelessly in love with me and would give me the world

and I totally dont feel that way about them....

then I deal with feeling bad by getting angry

(not very fair to the other person, I suppose)

thats the emotional side talking...

Logic would say that I just havent met the right person. 

And i do believe that. 

I have no idea what kind of person he is going to be

nothing short of amazing with the patience of a saint lol

Someone who can defend himeself (cause apparently Im going to kill my husband)

*shrug*

Someone with a long life span, cause Im going to have a long life (uuuh kill me  now)

And I do not want to burry my husband and the father of my children. 

He has to want a large family and be an active part of it. 

MUST want to adopt more than on child from another country(ies). 

Be totally Ok with and possibly even encourage the violent side of me

While also understand that there is a softer side, Im not an icequeen. 

Someone that doesnt mind my mood swings and has enough self preservation skills to leave me alone when need be

Someone that isnt all touchy-feely 24 hours a day

a talker, cause I am really bad at supplying conversation lol

Idk. Honestly I have no idea what I am looking for lol

I guess I can only say that I just havent found it/him yet

Maybe I'll find him in Florida. 

Or, maybe I'll just wipe my hands of guys in general for a while. 

Like, a long while. 

Less drama.

Am i the only female that doesnt crave this kind of attention and is actually annoyed by it? 

Cause I know a lot of girls that would kill for the kind of attention I get all the time. 

hmm