Time for a break

FB is gone. For a little while at least.

Somethin about the people today on that one status...

I wanted to find each one of them and kick them in the throat. 

Seriously. 

Go fuck yourselves. 

You know, great thanks, WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT

Oh yea, all that shit comes so fuckin easy for all yall

so i must be lacking brain cells seeing as i cant do it

I got so mad today. 

So unbelievable mad over that. 

I had to delete my FB or I was gonna go off

That shit pisses me off. 

Everyone all wanna be like "oh i can do it, why cant you? its easy"

Walk a day in my shoes, muh fucker. 

Shits not so damn easy in my brain

ESPECIALLY that random ass girl in Steven's car.

Like BITCH, who the fuck is you??!

No one was talkin to you thats for sure,

so stfu 'fore i come across this car and bounce your head off the window. 

And stupid people that dont take social ques. 

If i tense up, give you a dirty look, stop speaking all together and walk the fuck away

Clearly, something is wrong and no that DOES  NOT MEAN WALK CLOSER TO ME

UUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FB. Is breeding ground of hatred and potential murder...

I have enough anger in my life...

All on my own. 

So fb is gone. Brian is just gonna have to text me VIA skype to let me know when hes online. 

As for being able to talk when im in school

well, i didnt think about that. Maybe Ill make a blank FB just for him

Yea, thats prolly what Ill end up doing. 

SMH..

)(*&#Y&%)@&~~~~~

Owe the school $990... out of pocket

Which will prolly mean I cant go to Florida in June...

Phone is dead...fucking, all the fucking way dead...

Is dad gonna care? Prolly not. 

Hes prolly gonna make me wait all weekend to see if it comes back to life...

dude, its not coming back...

Give me a new phone. 

Now. 

Cause I know damn well you arent gonna let me go any where with out a phone. 

i dont want to go anywhere with out a phone...

Tsunami got my mood low

Even though it doesnt impact me personally,

still, its sad

Disected a piggy yesterday

Wouldnt have been that bad if my partners had some common fucking decency. 

but NOOOOO

Never hand a guy a knife. 

my new theory

They dont know wtf they are doing and cant be trusted to just get the job done

stupid people

The coffee creamer was bad

milk was bad

shit floatin in the kool-aid

i was like WTF?! am i not supposed to have a drink this morning?

House is fucking atrocious. 

Gotta go clean that. 

On top of my phone being dead,

Gene is supposed to call me this evening...

but, oh, gee, hes only get voicemail cause MY PHONE IS DEAD

Timing. is. awful

My son comes home from war and I cant even get his phone calls. 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

Today

Today I did a bad thing

I spent a lot of money on something I didnt need. 

I couldnt resist

Everyone's allowed to splurge now and then

Right?

No, I am not feeling guilty. 

I love this thing too much :)

Its a shiny, sparkly, eye catching ring

It was so pretty and shiny that I just couldnt leave with out it. 

I always go into Swarovski just to look. I mean, its a shining wonderland of crystal.

The store itself is amazing. 

And I love all the jewlery in there,

But this ring. It just caught me and stayed with me. Jaanu dragged me out of the store and we went to get lunch, but I couldnt get my thoughts off that ring. 

I knew I just had to have it. 

so, $160 later, it now graces my left hand beautifully. 

Its so friggin shiny I cant stand it. 

I went to class afterwords and just looked at it sparkle the whole time lmao

Ive never felt more like a prissy little girl then in that moment

Its not diamonds, Its crystals. Which i personally think are twice as shiny as any friggin diamond. Psh. 

No body is gonna buy me expensive stuff, and Im not gonna ask them too.

This is why I work.

For days like today. 

I didnt ask not a soul if i could have it. 

I just bought it

And not a soul can take it from me. 

Get.At.Me. 

:)

Dear God

Dear God.

Everyday when I wake up, my boyfriend is just gettin ready to go to bed. And when im going to sleep, hes getting ready to face a new day. Dear God, tonight, I pray that you keep my baby safe. Physically and Mentally. And bring him home to me. Please. 

For you see, hes not away at school, he doesnt live in another time zone because his family is there, he didnt run away. You see, God, my boyfriend is away at war. And no, I do not believe in this war, not anymore, but I do believe in my boyfriend. No, I dont agree with how we are fighting, and I do believe in peace. But that doesnt mean I dont believe in my boyfriend. 

Dear God, please bring him and his friends home safely to me and their familes. Because while i do not support the war, I support the troops, because they did not choose this. 

Dear God, all I ask is that he is safe. Surround him with your angels and your peace and help him cope with everything around him. Send him my love, remind him that it is strong and never faulters. 

Remind him, even when its raining for days or snowing a blizzard or blowing sand like a dry tsunami, that you are with him, and he is ok. Remind him not to give up or give in. 

In Jesus' Name

Amen

Oh, and God? Brian's not the only soldier I love. I love and support a Marine (Gene) please, bring him home just as safley as you bring Brian, Keenan(Army), Aaron(Airforce) and Brian's brother Chris (Airforce). Please, Bless them too. And no matter where they go or what they do, please bring them home safe... Id love to see the protesters do half the things these men do. So, dear God, remind them to ignore the trash talk and remind them that they are worthy of respect. 

Amen <3

Im in Miami Bitch!

lol ok well, not Miami...

But I'll be landing in Tampa, Florida. 

Im going there in July to visit my aunt and finally see my best friend

Im thinking about moving there.

For no other reason than because I friggin want to and who the hell is gonna stop me?

Finish out this semester at HCC, get good and acquainted with University of Phoenix

Pick an apartment, not to far from my aunt. Annnddd

DUECES

I mean, why not? 

Just go down there for a year or two, Ill be doing online schooling so its not like i have to find another college.

By doing online schooling, I can get a good job

(need to start looking for that now)

Jaanu said he'd come with me

(FLs not ready for that lmao)

and just chill out.

Hangout

whole time be working on my degree

While finally being able to live on my own

One can hope that we wont have too many terrible hurricanes lol

ooh, I just just picture taking my books to the beach. That pretty clear gulf water

(if the oil has cleared out by then)

that blinding white sand

THE SUN

no friggin snow

Sounds like heaven. 

I know somebodies gonna pitch a fit about it. 

Oh. Friggin.Well.

Last i checked, this wasnt a "what do you think about..?"

it was a 

"this is what Im gonna go..."

First things first though

Before i go anywhere or do anything

I have to get my license

And i have to get a car. 

Mission number 1) 

Learn to parallel park

shut up

 I dont ask permission

And 

I rarely ever ask forgiveness

So dont go gettin snippy with me

cause im not gonna care

You see me?

I am running my life, not you

So sit down and shut up

When I want your opinion I will ask for it

And just because I asked doesnt mean Im gonna follow it

this is MY life

Just because you are a part of it doesnt mean you have any power whats so ever

Cause you dont. 

FIN

Chains

My life is never gonna change

Im always gonna be trapped by these chains

whether I put them there myself

or other people have locked them on

They are there. 

All my life Ive been good, but now, Im thinin what the hell? All I want is to mess around, and I dont really care about, If you love me, if you hate me, you cant save me, baby baby, All My Life Ive Been Good, But Now, Oooh What The Hell? ;)

You think you understand what it is im talking about..

You've got the wrong Idea. 

Kinda. 

I dont wanna go out and fuck other people.

Thats not me

And even If i "wanted to" i would be able to. 

My conscious cant support that

But do i crave freedom? 

SO FRIGGIN MUCH

Im so tired of being tied down by one persons rules or anothers. Its killin me

As if my parents leash wasnt enough. 

Now I've got his locking me down even tighter. 

Vanessa was right. 

Its not time for this

Where was the time for me?

My life?

lol, its so funny, he said "screw what other people think. Go out and have fun"

what he didnt say, but was implied

"screw what other people think, except me. And go out and have fun with in reason"

Well, then where is the fun?

Who wants to do anything within reason

theres no point. 

But i guess with in reason could be dont fuck anybody. Which I wouldnt, with or without these chains. 

But i would love to have the freedom and say whatever I want. To blatantly flirt

Drink a lil and not feel bad If i make out with a dude

Finally go to the club with Taylor and not feel bad about dancin with random dudes

Hell, I dont wanna feel bad about hanging out with my dudes. 

Im sick of feelin like I should walk on egg shells. 

I dont, cause I honestly dont care. 

You knew what you were gettin into before you did it

But I still feel like i should feel bad

Eh.

You're on your knees 
Begging please 
Stay with me 
But honestly 
I just need to be a little crazy 

Its not like I dont want him at all. 

Thats not the case. I just wish I had waited, like i ORIGINALLY planned. 

Uuh! 

Always let my feelings get the better of me

I knew I needed to think with my head, not my heart

My heart always fucks me up

Dont know what the hell its talking about

I rather rage than sit around and wait all day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't get me wrong. I just need some time to play-ay (yeah, yeah, 

Thats all. 

I just wanna play

Like that movie Hall Pass

lmao

Lemma get a Hall Pass