Panic Mode...

Omg... I am so jumping into a shark tank with out a damn clue how to swim, let alone having a bite suit on...

Fuck

I have so much to do and learn before August

Can I possibly cram that much information into my brain and retain it in... 6 months? 

Oh dear Lord... what if its less? Brian said theres a possibility he'd come home earlier...

At first its all like "WOOHOO"

Then its like

OH SHIT. 

I dont know ANYTHING about the military. 

* panicking, panicking panicking*

Ok, I mean, Yea, I do know some, from bein around it for the past couple years...

But not that much. I know like, have a droplet compared to the damn POOL of information that is the Army

* panicking, panicking panicking*

I am so scared. 

What if i fail?

What if i mess something up?

Forget something?

OMG

What if i call a superior by the wrong rank!?

* panicking, panicking panicking*

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...

aaaaaaaahhhhh

* panicking, panicking panicking*

Ok. Ok. Woosah Chell. 

You have Sarah.
She said she'd help you. 

I mean, who better to talk to than an actual Army wife? 

And, she'll actually be there when I get to NY. 

Like, she basically said she claimed whatever time I wouldnt be spending with Brian as hers lol

Which, prolly will really be the case cause its a whole new place, world, life and Ill still be learning how to swim. 

I dont want to tell Brian about my panicking. 

Then he'd just worry and he doesnt need to. 

I want him to be proud of me. 

I want to show him I can handle myself. 

Cause I can. 

I just have a whole shit ton to learn

* panicking, panicking panicking*

fuck me...